For as long as I can remember I have had a pretty specific vision of what I thought sex would be like. I assumed from all the movies I've seen and books I've read that it would always be this passionate act between two people that love each other LMAO! Now clearly I have grown up quite a bit since my Disney princess days, and have learned that this is complete and utter bulls**t.
I know now that sex is not always some passionate encounter filled with foreplay and more than 8 min of intercourse, but the million dollar question is:
Is it possible for women to have sex without a emotional attachment?
After extensive research and conversations with several different people I have discovered that the answer is one big giant maybe. Most men seem to believe that women are not capable of separating feelings from sex, and the women seem to be split 50/50. One thing that most people who were apart of this discussion seemed to agree on is it can be done by some women but not most. Well today I am here to give you some tips on how to become "some" women, because I believe that women are capable of casual sex and they should be able to engage without the guy feeling that she will be writing him love notes and picking out engagement rings in a month (OMG get over yourself).
Rule 1: This is the first rule because it is the most important. BE HONEST! Be honest with yourself about your expectations and what you want. Also be honest with your partner about the type of relationship this will be. The last thing you need is to be longing for a boyfriend while you are in this arrangement. It will not work!!
Rule 2: Pick the "Perfect" Partner. DO NOT pick the guy that you are hopelessly in love with or the old flame that has now friend zoned you. These types will lead you to break rule number one very quickly. If you partner is someone you have thought about potentially dating it will be hard to set aside those feelings. The easiest way to deal with that is to not put yourself in a situation to get hurt.
Rule 3: Time Management. This is not a forever commitment. Make sure you mentally give this arrangement an expiration date. The longer you sleep with someone the more you learn about them. The more you learn the easier it is to get comfortable with one another. Once you get comfortable you let your guard down. Once your guard is let down...... well you know how this ends.
Rule 4: Set your own rules and stick to them. Now I'm not saying you should have a book of bylaws or a "Friends with Benefits" contract, but it might help to have some rules for yourself that will not blur the lines of the relationship. For example: no overnight stays or no hanging out one on one. It may seem silly, but it might also keep you within the boundaries of the relationship you are going for,
Rule 5: Protect Yourself. I mean this in a literal way as well as emotional. A few women that I spoke with said it is easier to fall for a person if you are having unprotected sex. I'm not sure how true this is but minus well practice safe sex just in case. You also do not want to end up with any STI or unplanned pregnancies with a person you are not committed to, because that can get really messy. Also protect your emotions. It is up to you to control the parameters of your relationship. If you start to get emotionally attached be honest and let your partner know. The last thing you want is hurt feelings.
Rule 6: HAVE FUN!!!!! You’re not supposed to fight, argue, make life decisions, or any of the other stressful things that happen in long term relationships. So now is the time to enjoy, experiment, and maybe get a little kinky. Explore your sexuality you never know what you will enjoy.
Just know that you are in control of whatever type of relationship you want to be in. This may not be the type of arrangement for you and that is just fine. Your relationship with sex is your own do what makes you happy and have fun!!!
