I’m confident. I’m intelligent. I’m sexual. I’m independent.
I’m me……. Now what does a woman with
such amazing qualities have to do to get a date!
I have a serious struggle when it comes to my personality
and finding a man that is open minded enough to understand me and see me as
more than a hook-up. I see the millions of “relationship goal” memes and I
always think to myself I have all of these qualities yet I only seem to be
seen as the one I’d sleep with never the
one I’d date. That sucks, mostly because I’m amazing but also because so many
men I meet cannot see past the sexual part of my personality. Know when I say
sexual I do not mean giving “take me now” eyes across the dinner table, it just
means I’m comfortable discussing the topic as I would be discussing current
events. I’m not disclosing all of my desires on a first date, but as a general
topic it intrigues and excites me and I’m not afraid to talk about it. Once
this is discovered it seems like men put up their relationship blinders and
focus strictly on getting me into bed. Please understand that just because the
topic is up for discussion does not mean that I am in a hurry to get naked with
you. I’m also well aware that not every guy I meet is looking for a
relationship, but I’m not talking about them. I am talking about the decent
guys I have met. The ones that are intelligent and can hold an intellectual
conversation. The guys that are able express
their goals in careers and life with me on the first date. The people that I
expect more from seem to only view me in one way. I have had people tell me
that it is a compliment, but I completely disagree. It’s an insult to every
other part of me. It means that you view me as 85% sexuality and my intellect
takes a back seat.
I tried asking a number of guys what separates the desire to
just have sex with a woman versus perusing a relationship (hell maybe I'm doing something wrong) and I seemed to get
an astonishing amount of cliché bullshit. I was met with the typical we want
honesty, trust, loyalty, and all kinds of other blah blah blah. No one was
really able to tell me what it is that a woman does that puts her in the
friends with benefits/one night stand category. I understand that not everyone
is ready for a relationship, but if you aren’t then why are you taking a woman
on a date? Why are you wasting time calling and texting her as if you like her?
Why are you putting so much effort into what seems to be just getting her into
bed? There are women that are not looking for a relationship and would be happy
to share a bed with you for a night. Why not find one of those women? Dating in
an age where a hook up is so easy to come by makes it hard to find anything
long term, and when you do find something long term it seems to be tainted with
lack of trust because it is so easy for cheating to occur. A booty call is only
a swipe away.
It seems likes it takes a special kind of person to make a
relationship work in this day and age. Until I come across that person (and
believe me there is no rush) I’ll continue to try and figure out how to be
single and dodge the people with the wrong intentions.
